First Place
An Irish Toast from an Irish Doctor by “Doctor” Kelley

May you always stay healthy and breathing,
And rub Irish whiskey on the gums when teething.
May you not smoke, do drugs, or drink too much,
And may your doctor always have that special touch.

May you get good care with a small bill,
And may your doctor not say, “It’s time to make out your will.”
May you never have pain in your belly,
And may I never run out of K-Y jelly.

May you never wait too long and get annoyed,
And may you never have a bleeding hemorrhoid.
May Chris not find a girl with sores itching and burning,
Then it’s Dr. Bahr for whom he’ll be yearning.

May your “Odes to Guinness” not be too many,
And may my fee for your rehab be more than a penny.
May you survive the cough and turn of the head,
Perhaps wishing it was your wife there instead.

May you keep up-to-date with your yearly tests,
And may you keep your appt with La Crosse’ Irishfest.

Second Place
Round 2: Version 2.0 By Chris

It’s time to raise our glasses again To the things that we love most.
Because it’s still IrishFest 2006, And time for another toast.

To the Black & Tan that will be the reason That you’ll be black and blue.
For you were yelling and fighting all because The green beer told you to.

To this fine state that’s been my home For fourteen years so far.
It introduced me to friends and good times, And most of them in a bar.

To the most hellish night of drinking That I’ve ever been through.
That horrible night I turned twenty-one When my friends were twenty-two.

To Wisconsin, La Crosse, Onalaska, and Holmen And the rest of the Coulee place.
To shoveling a driveway under two feet of snow With a smile on your face.

To having no money, not enough for a beer, But going downtown anyway.
Then getting so drunk that you sleep well past noon And eat aspirin the rest of the day.

To family, to friends, to song, and to drink. To everything we hold dear.
To IrishFest two thousand and six, And to seeing you all here next year.

Third Place
A Toast to Magical Guinness! by Karolanne

Guinness is magic always changing forms
It keeps you drunk to forget your daily norms.
Guinness is magic because it is filled with little leprechauns and fairies.
It’s magic keeps your lover beautiful when they really look scary.

May Guinness be magic as go about your day.
So you may do no work, and still collect the pay.
May Guinness make you fit and strong and lean
And may it never cost more than gasoline

May Guinness make your lover honest and true
And when they’re not – May they drop dead with bird flu.
May Guinness magic give the superbowl title to the gold and green
And may it keep your bed bouncing and your toilets clean

May it bring you courage in your time of fright.
When you ask that lovely lass or lad to stay the night.
Just think of this toast when you are so deep in sorrow
Because your good friend Guinness will bring a better tomorrow.

So raise your glass and drink up!! because Guinness is the best brew!!
And may that magical Guinness make all your dreams come true.

Honorable Mention
Ode to IrishFest By Kaye

To IrishFest -
A Rare and Unique Thing -
Like A Minnesota Viking
Super Bowl Ring

Here’s to the bartenders
May your taps always flow
to Guinness and Me Sorleys
May your hops always grow

And here’s to that laddie
That I’m dancing with
That looks better and better
With each Guinness I sip

May our night light up
With a romantic flame
And when we wake up tomorrow
May I remember his name